The Non-Water Bottle

When something embarrassing happens to one of my family members, the story somehow makes its way around to every relative, even family friends depending on just how funny the one telling the story thinks it is. There is one particular story that stands out to me, mainly because I am the victim of the punchline and had to sit there and listen as my parents told it to just about anyone or thing that would listen.

I was living in Florida at the time, it was during the summer which is characteristically hot and humid. I had to have been somewhere between seven and ten years old, still a naive child that can't be put to blame for innocent mistakes. It was a particularly hot day and I was looking for a refreshing drink. Normally, I would head straight for the juice or soda. However, I wanted a nice, clean drink of water. Luckily enough, there was a water bottle waiting for me in the freezer, nice and cold. I had trouble with the lid, so I ran upstairs to ask my mom for help. I returned to the kitchen in order to enjoy my ice cold water and took a very large gulp. Much to my surprise, the water did not taste like water at all; it was bitter and revolting and I spit it out right away. Horrified, I ran right back upstairs and cried out to my mom "This isn't water!" She took the bottle and smelled it and instantly burst out laughing.
"That isn't water, it's vodka!" she replied through giggles. I was confused and disappointed. How was I supposed to know that alcohol doesn't freeze and if it were water, it would be a bottle of ice? I was so looking forward to that refreshing, ice cold water but was put off my that little incident and ended up washing it down with a nice, bubbly and sweet soda.

Once my dad heard, he had the same reaction as my mom, if not enjoying my humiliation more. He found it necessary to tell every single relative that we visited that summer, every neighbor we had, and all of his friends at work. It started out embarrassing, but by the end of the summer, the story had long lost its appeal to me and I was more annoyed than anything when he told it. I have well learned my lesson and am now very wary of any drink that I find in my fridge!